Looking at my sister’s tumblr posts, it’s kinda disheartening to know what she’s going through. Not kinda, but very. From cutting, to her perceived low self-worth to people especially mummy, to being obsessed about losing weight and in all the wrong torturous ways like starving for days in a row. Yet I, as a personal trainer who has made so many people lose weight, am not lifting a finger. Why’s that so, and what’s stopping me from doing that? Ego? That it’s her life and I’ll stay out of it?
Now my brother as well. Smoking, to suicidal thoughts, low self-esteem, and other common teenage issues that daddy thinks will grow out once their teenage years are over. Fuck, I’m supposed to be his role model, the one he looks up to, and the one to help him spread his wings to fly.
I appreciate daddy for the big sacrifice many years ago to continue studying for his bachelors while working, and mummy for standing by him. That helped us to lead a more comfortable lifestyle, with a car, investments in property, setting aside tuition fees for further studies etc. but sometimes I jut wished they’d keep an open mind with their children, put egos aside and attempt to communicate and understand their children, especially the younger two. That’s kind of the typical Asian culture of upbringing I guess.
When I become a father (if I ever do), I’d make sure my child gets nourished with love, care, understanding, encouragement and communication. I’d want to how a real father should be: a someone who guides, provides, protects, plays, etc. But given Singapore’s fucked up society, that ain’t nowhere easy to do aye?
But right now, I’d want to “save” my sister and brother first before they spiral down into yet another vicious cycle. But where do I start? I’m pretty lost. Ad disheartened. :(